The Lusty Argonian Maid

Crassius Curio

Volume 1


By:

Crassius Curio



Act IV, Scene III, continued


Lifts-Her-Tail

Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.


Crantius Colto

Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?


Lifts-Her-Tail

I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.


Crantius Colto

So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.


Lifts-Her-Tail

You embarrass me, sir!


Crantius Colto

Fear not. You are safe here with me.


Lifts-Her-Tail

I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!


Crantius Colto

Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear.


Lifts-Her-Tail

But it is huge! It could take me all night!


Crantius Colto

Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.


END OF ACT IV, SCENE III


Volume 2


By:

Crassius Curio



ACT VII, SCENE II, CONTINUED


Lifts-Her-Tail

My goodness, that’s quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?


Crantius Colto

This loaf isn’t ready for baking, my sweet. It has yet to rise.


Lifts-Her-Tail

If only we could hurry that along. How would I accomplish such a task?


Crantius Colto

Oh, my foolish little Argonian maid, you must use your hands.


Lifts-Her-Tail

You wish me to kneed the loaf? Here?


Crantius Colto

Of course.


Lifts-Her-Tail

But what if the mistress catches me? Your loaf was meant to satisfy her appetite.


Crantius Colto

Don’t fret, my delicate flower. I’ll satisfy the mistress’s cravings later.


Lifts-Her-Tail

Very well, but I’m afraid my oven isn’t hot enough. It could take hours!


Crantius Colto

Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.


END OF ACT VII, SCENE II